From the movie Hook:
SMEE: I’ve just had an apostrophe.
HOOK: I think you mean “epiphany.”
SMEE: (Ignoring Hook) Lightning has just struck my brain.
HOOK: Well, that really must hurt.
Well, I’ve done it. The epiphany part, I mean, and I’m pretty sure it’s as least as brilliant, if not more so, as making Peter Pan’s kids love Captain Hook. It’s kind of funny, but inspiration really CAN strike like lightning… and without all the undesirable side-effects, such as electrocution and death.
I was perusing the internets the other day, and I came across this little ad from the good folks at Jones Soda:
Pretty cool, right? Granted, it’s not really much of a necessity or even a want. This is for people that have EXPENDABLE expendable (would that be expendable²?) income. Maybe it would make a cool birthday present. Maybe it would be cool for Valentine’s Day…
[Cue sound of thunder clap.]
Wait a minute. Waaaaaiiiiit a minute!
This is prime advertising space. What if the thing I want to advertise is ME??? I mean, it goes without saying that the reason I’m still single isn’t an issue of quality. Hey, this is me we’re talking about, right? So maybe instead of worrying about my “product” (see fig. 1), I should be more concerned about how I’m presenting myself (see fig. 2) to my “customer base” (see fig. 3).
Now that I know my product (i.e. me) and have chosen an advertising format (i.e. “Super Dooper Soda”), I need to figure out how this particular format can reach the most members of my customer base (i.e. single hotties)...
Jackpot! Guess who’s been invited to no less than three separate weddings this summer?
In summer, it gets really warm. (This is true, I’ve seen it.) Girls getting married tend to invite single friends and relatives. (Also true.) A large number of summer wedding receptions are outside. (Although in Washington, you’ve got a 50-50 chance on that one.) What if I were to approach a single young lady at one of these events with the following line: “Wow, it’s pretty hot out here today. Could I interest you in a delicious Jones Soda?”
Key points:
#1 – I appear sensitive and considerate. Dehydration is nothing to laugh about.
#2 – I appear to have incredible swing with a (slightly) large beverage manufacturer. I mean, dude, my picture is on the label!
#3 – That picture of me is pretty smokin’ hot.
Sometimes, even I am frightened and overwhelmed by my incredible genius.
4 Comments:
Matt, You're brilliant! I wish I'd thought of it. But it probably wouldn't really be as effective coming from a single girl as from a guy. Oh well. Let me know how it works out. And any tips you can share. ;) Love ya!
That. Was. AWESOME! If I were single and you came up to me with that line and bravado, I would totally give you a shot. I aways thought (good, well delivered) lines were awesome. It showed creativity and gumption. Yup, I just said gumption. Anyway, I hope you do it, and I would love to hear the results.
If you find yourself a future wife with this plan, you will be the envy of every single man in America. Then you could probably also market the book you'll end up writing about your successful trip from bachelorhood to matrimony. I love it. (Make sure you match the soda color with your phots.....girls love guys who can color coordinate).
How's this going for you so far? Have you one the hearts of girls around the globe yet?
P.S. Thanks for the good tunes again today. Need something different than the radio and my collection provides! :)
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