Ummm, because I'm spiritual... duh.

Here is a conversation I had at work last night as I was trying to buy a caffeinated beverage:

[I set my Red Bull on the counter]

CO-WORKER: Um, what is this?

ME: I need some caffeine and regular soda gives me a tummy ache. [This is true.]

CO-WORKER: But aren't you LDS? [So is he.]

ME: Yeah...

CO-WORKER: Well, you aren't supposed to have caffeine.

ME: Hey, they never specifically said "caffeine." It's open to interpretation.

CO-WORKER: "Substances that alter the mind or body..." and Red Bull "gives you wings!" [Hooray for advertising, right?]

ME: Like angels?

CO-WORKER: Angels don't have wings.

ME: You can't lie to me. I know they do because I saw it on TV.

CO-WORKER: What? Like, Touched By an Angel?

ME: If it's on TV or the internet, I know it's true. Why else would they put it on there?

CO-WORKER: [Rolling eyes] Here's your receipt.

ME: I can't help it if I'm so spiritual.

Checkmate.