25 Things

Hey all. I realize it's been a while since I've posted... and I'm sorry. I've just been busy, okay? Life has a tendency to sneak up behind you and kick you right in the bum. As a little "Welcome back!" to all my loyal readers out there, I'm posting this survey I filled out and posted previously on Facebook. Enjoy.

Also: Feel free to fill this out on your own blog and/or e-mail me a copy. It's kind of a fun little exercise.

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. When I get all worked up about something, I tend to be a little bit long-winded. Evidence of this will follow…

2. I love, love, LOVE books. I love to read them. I love to buy them. I love to talk about them (to anyone that will listen.) I don’t really do the whole library thing because I like to keep ‘em and re-read my favorites. When people ask what my favorite book is, I like to tell them that, “My books are like my children. How could a parent choose their favorite child?” Since I'm my parents' favorite, it means I obviously have a favorite: Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk.

3. I have some kind of weird, inexplicable psychological issues with wearing other people’s clothing. I’ve lent items to people and been fine with it, but I’ve just never been able to be comfortable wearing someone else’s stuff. Don’t even get me started on second-hand clothing. It can be really nice, you can take it home and wash it, doesn’t matter. It’s not happening.

4. I’ve recently become obsessed with classical music. It moves my soul in a way that no other music can even come close to. Not only that, but it really has a way of staying with you long after you’ve listened to it. I highly recommend it. (I’ve had Debussy’s “Clair de Lune” from Suite Bergamasque running through my head most of the day and I last heard that piece three days ago. I love it.)

5. That being said, after much internal debate, I’ve decided that “Judy is a Punk” by the Ramones may be the greatest song ever.

6. When I’m eating something, candy in particular, I tend to eat the flavors that I like the least first. (I’ll also eat the “stem” of a muffin before I eat the top.) I realized in the 7th grade that by eating all my favorite Halloween candies first, the other, less desirable candies were left sitting around rotting for a couple of months and then were thrown away. By eating those candies first, or by at least interspersing them with the good candies, I was able to increase my candy consumption and reduce candy waste. I’m big on efficiency.

7. Speaking of eating, when eating a meal with three or more components (example: meat, potatoes, veggie) I’ll subconsciously pace myself so that towards the end of the meal, I’m left with equal servings of each item. (Seriously, how could anyone make this stuff up?! Next time you see me, watch me eat.) I’m not sure what would happen if, for example, I consumed all my potatoes and left a bunch of meat and veggies on my plate, but I’m sure it would be disastrous.

8. When I worked at Pro Sports Club, I usually worked a 12:00 PM to 9:00 PM shift. Since leaving there over four years ago, I’ve only worked jobs that require me to be at work at the insane hour of 7:30 in the AM. People say that, “Oh, you’ll get used to it eventually.” It’s been FOUR YEARS!!!... Jerks.

9. Really, is there any human emotion that can’t be more accurately conveyed by putting it on the front of a t-shirt?

10. I’m STILL irked that the third Lord of the Rings film won the Best Picture Oscar (instead of Lost in Translation) and Sean Penn won Best Actor for Mystic River (instead of Bill Murray in Lost in Translation) at the 2004 Academy Awards. It should have been pretty obvious that the Oscars were a complete sham when Titanic won eleven, yes ELEVEN, awards despite being a truly horrible film. The 2004 awards really just hammered the point home.

11. My sister, Kim, once said, “There is a movie quote for every situation. If you can’t think of one, you just haven’t seen enough movies.” Truer words have never been spoken.

12. I’m intensely competitive. If we’re just goofing around, (casually shooting hoops, looking for random words in Boggle, etc.) I’m usually laughing and having a good ol’ time. Once we start keeping score, I start to feel a fairly intense aversion to losing and tend to take things a little more seriously. (Read: IT’S ON!) I’ve heard that my whole demeanor changes in a matter of seconds – like someone has flipped a switch or something – and it’s fascinating to watch. It’s also the main reason I can’t get anyone to play word or trivia games with me anymore.

13. I’m pretty sure that the Book of Revelation lists “reality TV shows” as one of the signs of the coming Apocalypse. (It’s in the New Testament. Seriously, look it up.)

14. Actually, so are Dr. Phil, the New York Yankees, $4 a gallon gasoline, any Disney film since Aladdin that was not produced by Pixar, the designated hitter rule, Bill O’Reilly, the “Wildcat” or any other gimmicky offense, films “based on a true story,” sporting events that end in a tie, novels adapted from films, MTV showing anything but music videos, fast food being more affordable than healthier dining options, and movie sequels/remakes.

15. I adore useless trivia. Mostly because that’s the only information stored in my brain. I watch Jeopardy semi-regularly and dream of being on it someday. (They’ve already passed me over once… jerks.)

16. I’m now 30, and for the first time ever, I think I know what I want to do with my life: I want to be an English professor. (Unfortunately, I’m currently dealing with the consequences of a solid decade’s worth of financial irresponsibility. I’ll get to where I want to be eventually... It’s just going to be a bumpy ride.)

17. It makes me sad to hear about public schools cutting funding for music and the arts. Without them, our children will leave school full of facts, dates, and the like, but be of as much use to society as a set of encyclopedias.

18. I’m still struggling to understand why God would give me the soul of an athlete but the body of a guy that gets winded walking to the fridge. When people say, “God is mysterious,” I think this is what they mean.

19. I feel that humor is the body’s defense mechanism against all the depressing things out there in the world. Laughter is the release that keeps us all from going insane.

20. Someday, I would like to have something I’ve written published. This written work will need to serve at least one of the following objectives: It will need to have made someone laugh at the absurdity in everyday life; it will need to remind the reader that their experience is in no way exclusive – they’re not alone in this big, scary world – and that someone understands and empathizes with them; and/or it will need to give a new and different perspective that will remind them that life is so achingly beautiful that it can make you want to laugh and cry at the same time. Also, I’d like there to be a talking squirrel in it.

21. Do you remember Ghostbusters cereal? It was good, huh?

22. Regarding the newspaper’s comics page: The Far Side and Calvin & Hobbes were the last of the consistently funny comics. Foxtrot is good, but is only published on Sundays, now. Dilbert makes me laugh until I realize that it’s painting a pretty accurate picture of my life. Then, I cry. Everything else is funny – like, laugh out loud funny – maybe once or twice a month… and never at the same time. Garfield hasn’t been funny in a decade. (Side note: For a new take on Garfield, check out http://www.garfieldminusgarfield.net. Every character is cut except for Jon and his dialogue. It’s funny, poignant, and about a thousand times better than the original.)

23. I seriously love Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey. Some people are great at physical comedy, some tell great jokes, and some are experts at making fun of everyday life. There are a select few that can throw out some of the most bizarre, random things you’ve ever heard and they work. Jack Handey is a genius.

24. I was painfully shy in high school. Not a lot of people know that considering how hard it is to get me to shut up. (Especially if there is a video camera present. Time for “The Matt Show!”) Thank you retail!

25. Every day is a chance to be better.